1 - Yeah, I had a lot of fun last night at my buddy’s political campaign party.
Oh haaaay, Hilary! Could you pull some strings for me at the capital? You’re such an inspiration. GIRL POWER!
Um. Sorry, I have no power like that. But for real, I’m VERY excited about my friend Jeff’s campaign, he’s honestly a TERRIFIC guy who I believe in 100%! He has such a great vision for District 15 and here I go again sounding like a total grown up what is happening someone quick challenge me to a game of beer pong I’ve even abandoned punctuation at this point I'm pretty sure osteoporosis just got all up in me let's pretend we're princesses again with a quickness!!!!
2 - Sorry, I can’t, I have a brow and eyelash appointment.
Ah, well, what about Friday? Will that work for you or is that when you’re having your unmentionables bleached?
Really? I mean, who am I?! Who has a brow and eyelash appointment?! I mean, even on their calendar? I guess that’d be grown-up-Mia. Weird.
3 - Um, yes, I’d like to make a dentist appointment for myself.
Wook at mommy’s big guurl making her own wittle appointments by her wittle sewf!
Seriously, I felt the internal need to smash that tiny feeling of pride for taking care of my oral hygiene. Hashtag pathetic.
4 - Oh yeah, I’m definitely going to get started on my security clearance paperwork.
You little, jet-setter, you. How many times have you flown now? A grand total of 9 business-class seats you’ve adorned? Damn, you really need to get that in gear to save yourself some precious time. Better yet, go ahead and spring for that G3 you’ve had your eye on, Queen B! You deserve it!
Seriously though, I'm doing this. Why not?
5 - Well, it was before 7 and I couldn’t go back to sleep so I just got up and went to work early.
WHAT.IS.HAPPENING TO YOU?!?!?!?! You’re officially a new person, however, you really should just start getting up earlier on the reg so you can run before work, what am I saying, you were just having a nightmare about running?!
If you've known me my whole life, you know I have a true superpower when it comes to sleeping. I can sleep-in as long as I want, can sleep through ANYTHING, I compLETELY suck at mornings, aaaaaaaaand I'm usually running late. I hate that about myself, I think this week maybe I was trying to improve?
6 - Could you please send me a quote for refinishing my concrete basement floors?
While you’re at it, also send me a quote for how much you’d charge to pull my head out of my ass? That’d be greeeeeeeaat.
Owning a home, caring about refinishing floors and asking so many people for quotes, on top of all of the other stuff I've said and done this week makes me feel like I'm wrapped up in silly things. When the brow appointment alert popped up on my phone I felt like I just saw an image of my head in my ass on the screen for some reason. In the end, I'm really just thankful for all these blessings, it's truly amazing.
Other news this week in the Land of Meerkat - I also had a nightmare that I was in Hawaii. Why was that a nightmare, you ask? I have no idea, that was probably the weirdest thing that happened. No, wait, the weirdest thing was the migraine that sent me into a “you’re definitely dying right now” panic, as I haven’t had a true migraine like that since college. Saying “since college” also makes me feel like a grown up. Ugh, this is all so weird. Also, it’s 9:00 and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open, though that could be the dye on my eyelashes, either way, thanks for reading about my stupid thoughts. Life is so weird but it’s cool to peel off your own layers and step back and say, “Huh, okay, well, that seems really strange but it’s me and I’m happy with it!” Love, ya’ll, thanks for reading about my crazy-brain-thoughts. Night night.
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